


Upside Down

by soap (Anaarlips)



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:34:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25762213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anaarlips/pseuds/soap
Summary: Nineteen-year-old Illumi finds his life upturned overnight when the Zoldyck estate bursts into flames. He manages to escape the wreckage with his siblings. Survival comes second nature to Illumi; it is ingrained in his very brain. Parenting four children is an entirely novel concept, however. Only one person is left for Illumi to ask for aid. Trust is a strong word, and Illumi's not particularly attached to emotional sentiments. But his siblings need a roof over their head, and Illumi needs as much help as he can get.
Relationships: Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck
Comments: 40
Kudos: 228





	1. Upside Down

**Author's Note:**

> I churned this one out for @operationktb_'s birthday! go check out her twitter and instagram, she is an INCREDIBLE artist and a wonderful friend. This is a super ambitious and VERY long fic in the making, so please be patient, y'all! 
> 
> Notes: This is a kid fic, so I aged everyone down a few years. Killua's eight, Kalluto's six, Milluki's eleven, and Alluka's seven. Illumi is 19. Hisoka is like 21 or 22. Idk when his birthday is lmaoo. 
> 
> also i'm lowkey addicted to the curious george movie soundtrack. the movie with will ferrell. it has banger after banger. so i decided to name this fic after one of these songs. I might continue the song chapter name stuff but who knows? let's see.

Illumi stares numbly as he watches his home crumble, engulfed in flames. It’s almost funny, he thinks, how easily the estate burst into an inferno. Building the mansion on the side of an alpine forest was a self-imposed checkmate. He absentmindedly pats Kalluto’s back as the tiny child’s body shakes with pain, coughing up smoke and ash. A tug at his sleeve drags his sluggish stupor to meet Killua’s bloodshot gaze. 

“Aniki,” he croaks. “What now?” 

He feels the weight of four pairs of eyes, their exhausted devastation crushing his spine. Illumi feels his mouth part and open, the feeling of speech clawing from his throat both alien and painful. 

“We survive.”

“Illu, look!” Milluki frantically points behind them. 

In the distance, the butler’s villa explodes, a furious cloud of ash and gas bleeding into the rosy-fingered dawn. The still daybreak is silent, he notices. 

They descend down the mountain, charred bodies of morning doves paving their path. 

_Damn_ , he thinks to himself as he pulls out his phone, _has it really come to this?_

The call barely makes it past one ring before Illumi registers that it’s been answered. He hears the sweet drawl of the most poisonous man he’s met. He can practically see the man’s sharp-toothed grin threatening to burst its seams.

“My, what a delicious way to wake up!” The voice, tinny and warped, purrs in his ear. “So unexpected, though… to what do I owe the pleasure?”

For a heartbeat, Illumi’s face softens. “I need a place.”

Hisoka’s voice falters for a moment at the sound of Illumi’s rasping voice. “You are asking for this as a favor?”

Killua’s sweaty grip on his hand tightens. He closes his eyes, breathing deeply before opening them with newfound conviction. “I’m asking this as a friend.” 

The line is silent for a moment. When Hisoka speaks again, the mirth in his voice is gone. “Next bus. 8 AM. Be there.” 

The call ends.

Descending Mt. Kukuroo takes longer than expected. Alluka won’t stop crying, so Illumi slings her over one shoulder. Kalluto won’t stop coughing up blood, which adds time which they can’t afford to waste, so he swings him onto his other shoulder in one swift motion. Milluki’s nervous chatter gives him a headache, but he elects to indulge him for once. Less effort, he tells himself. 

The Sun’s hard to see in the smoky haze, but Illumi’s mind is the only clock he needs. Each pendulum swing of his lanky, awkward legs embeds itself in the rhythm of his mechanical heart. He can feel the shift of the cogs and crank of the wheels in his spine. It’s 7:55, he realizes as he walks towards the Testing Gate. Killua reluctantly lets go of his hand. Illumi stands before the gate, nearly drops Alluka and Kalluto as he prepares to push, and thus instead decides to kick it open. 

They stand on the side of the road, the soft morning sunshine shining through the fine, drifting dust, shimmering a gentle gold. He hears the bus before he sees it, jostling and creaking as it protests the unpaved mountain road. 

The bus’s breaks whine indignantly as it screeches to a halt in front of Illumi. With a hiss, the door opens. Hisoka’s lips draw into that sly smirk he’s so fond of, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. 

“Care for a lift?” 

He hears Milluki breath falter, as if his words preemptively died in his throat. 

“Yeah. Thanks.” He nudges Milluki, who looks at him, eyes wide. “Come on, get on.” 

Milluki pauses, his face settling back into neutral arrogance, his back straightening, and steps onto the bus, ignoring Hisoka pointedly. “I call dibs on the back,” he calls over his shoulder, “I’m going to sleep.” 

Hisoka giggles, his chin cupped in his slender hand. “Who’s next?” 

Killua steps forward from Illumi’s side, boarding the bus in silence. 

Illumi looks over his shoulders, feigning surprise at the sight of Kalluto and Alluka hanging off of him. “Well, that would leave the three of us, wouldn’t it?” He meets Hisoka’s gaze.

The magician’s eyes shine in the soft morning light. He stands up, and outstretches his hand. 

“Best for last, right?” 

Illumi reaches for him. His hands feel rougher than he expected. He feels the raised grooves and edges of callouses as their fingers intertwine in Hisoka’s grasp. The overwhelming impulse to lick it rushes through his brain. It probably tastes like saltine crackers. The nice ones with the wavy edges and the big chunks of salt sprinkled on the top. 

Alluka’s snores interrupt his thoughts. His eyes widen. _Right._ He pats her back awkwardly, and his eyebrows settle. “I will sit up front. Give me a moment.” 

Hisoka’s eyes crinkle at the ends. Gold and sharp, they kind of look like that one fox Killua tried to drag home from the forest. Illumi’s eyes flit to Hisoka’s soft, pink lips. It hasn’t left its far-too-elastic grin. It stretches too often for his liking. _He probably has rabies, too_. 

When he meets his gaze, Hisoka is still looking at him, amused and expectant. “Still deciding on seats?” He teases. 

Illumi rolls his eyes and turns, the abrupt motion causing Kalluto’s foot to smack into Hisoka’s face. “Oops,” he hums. 

He strides through the aisles of the bus, brushing away the feeling of Hisoka’s gaze on his back. Milluki’s in the back row, curled towards the cushions. He’s still, but his breath betrays him; he’s not asleep. Illumi’s lips flatten. Killua’s on the left of the bus, his chin propped in his hand as he stares out the window. 

“Killu.” His brother doesn’t move. Illumi continues. “I am putting them in the seat in front of you.”

Silence. Illumi moves to shrug Kalluto off his shoulder.

In his periphery, he sees Killua place his hand on the seat next to him. 

Gently, Illumi slips Kalluto and Alluka off of himself, resting them in the seat. Kalluyo shifts in his sleep, cuddling into Killua’s chest. Alluka leans across their laps. Without taking his eyes off of the window, Killua begins to gently weave her soft hair through his fingers. 

Wordlessly, Illumi makes his way to the front, delicately stretching as he slides into the shotgun seat. The shitty 1970s vinyl seat squeaks as Hisoka shifts, turning towards Illumi. He winces at the sound. 

“Where to?” Hisoka prods. As if he didn’t know already. 

Illumi sighs, the volume almost imperceptible. “Let’s get out of here.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments pspspspspspsps i'm lowkey excited about this fic and i'm looking forward to expanding it!


	2. Wrong Turn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka likes causing problems on purpose. He's also discovered that teasing Illumi is equally fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can someone please help illumi? this dude is really running around looking like a Northeast American prep school kid. Thank goodness Hisoka is here to give him that gay awakening glow up.

Hisoka’s used to the silence, chewing a wad of gum noisily as his fingers drumming a tune on the steering wheel. But _damn_ , if it isn’t boring. Slamming his foot on the pedal, he swerves down the mountain road, the bus wobbling precariously. Clouds of dust swirl in his wake, and grime gathers on the sweating bus in thick, murky layers. 

He motions to peer through the rear mirror, pretending to be checking his surroundings. Under this pretense, he steals a glance at Illumi. He’s lost in thought, his chin propped up on his hand as he leans on the dashboard. His dark eyes, unreadable, stare through the cracks of clearness in the filth-coated window. 

Illumi doesn’t move. “Eyes on the road.” 

He smirks. “Someone’s observant,” he quips, tilting his head. “Bored?”

“The rear mirror is caked with dirt.” 

Yawning, he stretches, the bones audibly cracking as he arches his back. He catches the distracted flash of Illumi’s eyes as they dart momentarily towards the motion. “Is that a challenge?”

Illumi sighs, and closes his eyes. 

_I win_. Hisoka senses Illumi’s movement, listening to the soft rustle of his Patagonia windbreaker as he shifts in his seat. _Dorky prep._

“You got any clothes on you?” He drawls, his eyes flick suggestively over Ilumi.

Illumi’s eyebrows furrow, pausing to think. A moment passes, and his face relaxes. A flash of mirth glitters in his eyes, disappearing as quickly as it appeared.

“Do I look naked to you,” he replies, his voice deadpan. 

Hisoka’s eyes widen. “Is this an attempt at humor?”

The corners of Illumi’s mouth quirk. “Perhaps.” He finally turns to meet Hisoka’s gaze. “We were not able to bring much with us. So yes, I suppose we will need to get some new clothes.”

“Excellent!” Hisoka clasps his hands in delight. The bus swerves, and Illumi snatches the wheel before they nearly careen over the edge of the mountain road. His elbow knocks into Hisoka’s chest. 

Hisoka winces, rubbing the ache in his heart. “Ow! What was that for?”

“Watch the damn road.”

“Yes dear, anything for you, dear!” His hands return to the worn leather of the steering wheel, and his foot loosens its pressure on the gas. _There will be plenty of time for fun, later._

The bus’s stress assuaged, its shrieks subside into soft whines and the occasional suspicious groan as it slows to a gentle roll. The comparative silence allows the soft sounds of breathing to fill the bus. 

Absentmindedly scrunching his short, dark hair through his palms, Illumi closes his eyes, listening to the gentle snores of his siblings. Kalluto’s coughing has subsided to a quiet wheeze. 

Hisoka breaks the silence. “I know someone.” 

“It’s not necessary.”

Gold eyes narrow. “Don’t be stupid. Let her see him.” 

Illumi opens his mouth to retort, but the sound of a groan in the backseat interrupts his thoughts. 

Yawning loudly, Milluki stirs. “Aniki, I feel sick,” he whines, curling into the fetal position as he clutches his stomach. 

“There’s a window right next to you,” Illumi says, without bothering to turn to face his brother. “Practice your aim.” 

“Illu-ni!” 

“Did I stutter?” 

Illumi hears Milluki grumble curses under his breath as the window squeaks open. The smell of sharp pine and heady earth drifts through the bus. 

His nose twitches. 

“Tissue?” Hisoka offers, eyes wide and innocent as he snaps, revealing a suspiciously clean handkerchief held between his pale and slender fingers. 

Illumi’s eyes slide from Hisoka’s gaze to the handkerchief, narrowing minutely before he nods. He reaches for the fabric, but Hisoka’s fingertips graze his knuckles, gently pressing them away. Confused, he looks up, only to see that Hisoka’s eyes glint with mischief. _This cannot be good._

Slowly, Hisoka’s soft lips stretch into a smile. “Allow me.” 

Hisoka leans in, the lace handkerchief fluttering open as he slowly moves his hand towards Illumi. Illumi tries to look away, to look anywhere else, but his eyes refuse to obey, transfixed on the brightness dancing in Hisoka’s irises. 

The handkerchief lightly brushes against the tip of his nose. Illumi’s breath catches. 

His jacket is uncomfortably warm. He feels his neck flush. _I really need new clothes._

“Better?” Hisoka’s grin widens. Illumi can barely register himself nodding. 

The bus shakes as it transitions from the mountain road to the cobblestone of the village. Hisoka pulls away, steering the bus to the kiosk at the base of the mountain. With a shudder, the bus screeches to a halt, sighing as it at last finds rest. 

Hisoka turns to Illumi. “Well, time to switch!”

Illumi shrugs, and walks down the aisle. He gently taps Killua awake. He hears his breathing adjust to consciousness. “Killu, we’re going now.” 

Without waiting for a response, he turns to Milluki. “Millu.” 

His brother squints, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the back of his hand. “Ok, gimme a sec.” 

Illumi nods. He gently nudges Kalluto and Alluka awake. Kalluto’s eyes are tinged with red, and Alluka’s are bleary with exhaustion. “It’s time to go,” he softly murmurs. Kalluto’s small hands reach for him, and he swings his youngest brother on his back. 

“Allu, can you walk?” 

She smiles sleepily, nodding.

“Good.” 

As he turns to leave, he sees Killua’s small hands wrap around Alluka’s in the corner of his eye. 

Kalluto’s light, his weight barely noticeable as his arms limply wrap around Illumi’s shoulders. 

Hisoka lifts himself from the driver’s seat with a delicate nimbleness, resting his hands on his hips. “I’ve got a car waiting for us. Let’s just drop off the bus keys.”

Ilumi’s jaw slackens. “You’re returning it?” He asks. 

He’s met with a shrug. “I was only borrowing it, I hardly want to make a poor impression.” Hisoka notices Illumi’s expression. “What? It’s not worth the effort of stealing.”

Illumi stares. 

“Really!” 

Illumi feels the vibration on his back as Kalluto’s stomach grumbles. “Well, let’s get going, then. We should probably pick up provisions before we continue our journey.” 

Hisoka laughs. It’s a pleasant, warm sound. Like blowing through an empty beer bottle to make silly train whistle noises. “Yeah,” he agrees. “Let’s get going.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all of your comments! It was so so exciting to read all of your comments, and I got so incredibly psyched to write! sorry the pace is so mf slow, each chapter is about 1k and I'm trying to develop the slow burn without going too quickly. Also! Updates will become more frequent from now on, I think. My classes are finishing up, so I'll have more time to write next week!


	3. Talk of the Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hisoka and the Zoldycks torment a grocery store employee. She doesn't get paid enough for dealing with these shenanigans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii I finally updated! Yeah, I was inactive for like two months... but here it is! wow! the lovely xae @hisokasecret on twitter aka the bane of my existence convinced me to finally write, because apparently thirst tweeting about chrollo does not constitute as writing.
> 
> I missed you all, and I am so grateful for all of the kind and wonderful comments you left for me!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this!

The bell above the threshold tinkles, barely giving the weary clerk behind the counter enough time to process the situation as some sort of clown swings open the door. He holds it open with one arm, sweeping into a dramatic bow as he beckons his companions with an outstretched hand. 

“After you,” he barely has time to simper as a dorky looking twink strides into the shop. The boy’s hands are nestled in the pockets of his fleece jacket, which wouldn’t be strange if he didn’t currently have two small children clinging to his back and chest. Two children trail after him, the silver-haired kid looking sullen, the other’s expression twisted into an irritated scowl. 

The clerk sighs, rubs her eyes, and reaches for her coffee. _It’s too damn early for this._ Wincing at the acrid taste, she downs the mug in one fluid motion, and flips open her gossip magazine. 

Illumi taps Kalluto and Alluka. “Wake up,” he instructs. “We’ve got to get food for the road.” He begins to slide them off of his shoulders. Kalluto’s back immediately straightens, and he releases himself from his brother’s grasp, rolling onto his feet. 

“Don’t be so rough!” Killua fumes. His shoulder smacks into his older brother’s side as he moves past Illumi to catch Alluka. 

Illumi’s eyes sharpen ever so slightly. 

Alluka’s eyes sleepily open as he gently kisses her forehead. “Alluka, it’s time to wake up,” he whispers softly. She smiles, hugging him close. “Okay!” 

He gently sets her down onto her feet. 

Kalluto tugs at Illumi’s jacket. “Who’s _he_ ?” Illumi follows his accusatory gaze, landing on the clown. He’s hunched over the candy aisle _—_ cheap, tooth-rotting crap, really _—_ and physically vibrating in excitement. He whips his head around to face Illumi, his grin reaching his shining eyes. “Mimi, _look_!” 

Illumi’s nails are suddenly extremely fascinating. He ignores the burning sensation on the tips of his ears, and sighs, leaning on a rotating display. 

Killua rolls his eyes. “What’s up with your clown, _Mimi_?” 

“Bungee Gum!” Hisoka practically squeals. “Look, look, watch.” His fingers eagerly tear into the candy’s wrapper, revealing a small piece of paper. “Here, pull it out!” 

Killua’s eyes widen as he’s handed the candy. He glances at Illumi, who’s examining the dirt under his fingernails. Without looking up from his cuticles, his eldest brother nods. 

Cautious blue eyes slowly examine the candy in the large, outstretched hand, and his fingertips delicately grasp at the corner of the wrapper. Pinching the little paper, he carefully pulls it out. 

“It’s… a tattoo?” He ventures. 

The corner of Hisoka’s eyes crinkle. “Look, let me show you how it works!” In one fluid motion, he grabs another of the candies, rips it apart with his teeth, flicks off the plastic covering, slaps it on his arm, and spits on it, slapping his hand on top. 

Killua stares. 

“Now, we wait! You know the song _Toxic_?” 

Killua shakes his head. 

“What are you, a homeschooler?”

“....Yeah.” 

Hisoka’s expression freezes. With awe, he turns to Illumi. “Illumi,” he giggles, “That is the _saddest_ thing I’ve heard.” 

Illumi’s using a cheap Kukuroo Mountain commemorative pen to scrape the grime from under his nails. He looks up at Hisoka, his eyebrow raised. “You literally grew up in the world’s biggest dumpster.” 

“Not the point. How does your brother _not_ know about Britney Spears, much less one of the greatest bangers ever to grace this mortal realm?”

Illumi rolls his eyes, flicking the filth off of the pen’s tip. It hits the cheek of the cashier lady, whose face is a furious red. “What makes you think Queen Britney can afford to be one of our clientele?” 

“Britney’s worth 2 billion jenny. How does that compare to the average asset value of your clientele?” 

Killua’s eyes dart back and forth between the two as he tries to follow their conversation. He’s still holding the candy, and that’s the problem; it’s in his hand, not in his mouth. He clears his throat, and the banter finally ceases, both pairs of eyes focused on him now, expectant. 

“What does this have to do with the tattoo?” 

Hisoka smiles, and peels the paper from his arm. A simple pink heart is left on his skin. “It has to do with the timing! If you sing the first few lines, it’s dry by the time you get to ‘You’re dangerous, I’m loving it’.”

Behind him, Milluki snickers. “Why wouldn’t you just count to thirty?” 

Hisoka eyes narrow. “What’s wrong with Miss Britney?”

Milluki leans his back against the shelves, tilting his head. “What’s so hard about counting to thirty?”

Hisoka scoffs, folding his arms. “Not the point.”

“Hisoka,” Alluka’s voice appears at his side, her eyes sparkling as she tugs on his shirt. “Teach me!” 

“Come on, let’s do it in the car,” Illumi interrupts, pointing his chin towards the clock. “We need to hit the road.” 

Killua taps his sister on the shoulder. “Look, I think I’ve got it.” He peels off the plastic cover, places the paper face-down on his cheek, and spits in his palm, moving his hand to his face before he presses down. “Ew!” 

He hears soft chuckling. “Idiot.” He sticks his tongue out at Hisoka’s grin. 

“Teach me the song!” Alluka pleads. Hisoka’s grin widens, and he squats to face her eager face.

“It’s very special, are you sure?” She nods seriously. 

“Repeat after me,” he says sweetly. Her eyes sparkle with excitement. 

“Baby can’t you see, I’m falling.” 

She furrows her eyes in concentration. “Baby can’t you see, I’m falling?” 

He nods, and continues. “A guy like you should wear a warning.”

“A guy like you should wear a warning.”

“It’s dangerous, I’m falling.”

She giggles. “It’s dangerous, I’m falling.”

“There’s no escape, I can’t wait.”

“There’s no escape, I can’t wait.”

“I need a hit, baby give me it.”

“I need a hit, baby give me it.”

“You’re dangerous, I’m loving it.”

“You’re dangerous, I’m loving it.”

“Good job, high five!” He raises his hand. 

She giggles. “Good job, high five!” She mimics as she raises her tiny hand to pat his palm.

Hisoka shakes his head gently. “No, that’s the end of the song.”

She giggles. “No, that’s the end of the song,” she sings. 

“Now rip it off!”

“Now rip it off!”

“No, silly, take it off!” He gasps in mock exasperation.

Alluka bursts into laughter. Killua peels the paper from her arm, hiding his face from view, but Hisoka swears that he can see a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. 

Kalluto’s stomach rumbles audibly.

Illumi swings onto his feet with feline grace. “Let’s go get some real food.” Kalluto’s soft footprints follow him as he grabs a basket. 

As the brothers begin to walk off, Hisoka pokes Milluki, and winks. Milluki nods. The boy grabs a handful or two of Bungee Gum, and offers it to the clown. Winding his arm back, Hisoka furrows his brows in concentration. Like a whip, his fingers snap forward and part, sending the candy flying across the aisle to neatly land in the basket. 

“Score!” He whispers, high-fiving his accomplice. Milluki smirks, and returns the gesture. 

“Hey, you two!” Milluki points. Alluka and Killua pause their admiration of each other’s tattoos to look at their brother. “Let’s get some snacks.” 

Alluka tugs on Killua’s shirtsleeve. “We can get Choco-robos!” 

His eyes widen. “Shit, you’re right!”

“Potty mouth!” Alluka smacks his side. 

Hisoka smothers his laughter with his hand. “Lead the way, Milluki,” he offers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pspspspss more comments pls i literally get so much serotonin from you guys


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